The Cook Files vol 2: Zoro and Sanji
by AllBlueChaser
Summary: Thirty short fics/drabbles about Zoro/Sanji on various themes with various ratings. Some longer ones have already been posted here and will be linked to in the last chp. Written for the 30 onepiece community on Livejournal.
1. 100: Positive Affirmations

Sanji groaned lightly and stretched his arms far above his head, the act pulling his freed blue shirt up enough to reveal the taught stomach and top of the golden light happy trail down further into the mans partially unzipped pants.

"Mmmmm." The contented sound hummed from his lips and the blond smiled, taking off his shirt and hanging it on the bathroom hook before rubbing a hand across his bare chest. Without further fuss the pants came next, revealing the rest of the man, dick and all. He nonchalantly placed the rest of his clothing on the shelf and walked to the other shower head before turning it on.

Zoro had been carefully not looking at this display even as he committed every detail of it to memory.

This was the first time Zoro saw Sanji naked. The first time these two nakama happened to be sharing the shower, the first of many as Zoro was already altering his routine in his mind to make this happen regularly. Zoro up early to train, wounds be damned. Sanji between finishing last watch and beginning to prep breakfast.

They had just defeated Arlongs' crew a day or so before and he hadn't even really had a proper conversation with the man that hadn't been about Namis' potential nature. He knew some…that Luffy trusted him, that the cooks food lived up to his profession, and that he had some skill that made him reliable in a fight. Some things he could guess…like the mans unrealistic ideals concerning women were going to piss him off and that he was a different enough kind of man that Zoro was sure he wouldn't have a clue what was happening behind that one visible blue eye, except perhaps in battle.

This shower was giving Zoro a lot of insight though.

Things about Sanji like how growing up on a ship full of men meant that sharing a shower and being naked with other men was normal and he could be confident in his own skin. That he didn't wear underwear (something that would unfortunately change in the near future after an Usopp prank goes horribly wrong). That despite looking like a weak pansy of a chef in a stuffy suit, naked he was lean, muscled, and well hung...like some damn wet-dream statue locked away somewhere out of the sun.

Then there were the insights he gained about himself. Things like how a lifetime of mastering meditation could save you from an awkward erection in front of a brand new comrade. How until now he hadn't really considered a man capable of making him drool (and this one was a first class cook who could do it again with food). How he wanted to know more and definitely touch more of the man. Lastly, how if he wanted that with someone such an idiot over girls he would probably need to go slow.

One hundred should do.

It may be the first shower with the cook and they are barely friends but by the one hundredth shower together things were going to be different. By the one hundredth shower Sanji would be waiting in the shower for Zoro to arrive and linger until he was done. By the one hundredth shower he would be questioning why he was getting hard in the shower across from Zoro and not for his Nami-swan anymore. By the one hundredth shower the cook will contemplating coming to his shower while on watch and breaking it so he could arrive late at his shower time and demand to join Zoro under his stream of hot water.

Across the bathroom came a quiet curse.

"Shit."

No one should have been able to hear it above the running water of two showers. Zoro did though and not looked again with his peripheral vision to the blond. Apparently washing his privates had caused the cook an unexpected result and if the nervous and pissed glance in his direction was to be any indication, the swordsman had been partially at fault.

Zoro grinned as he reached for the shampoo. If the cook had been totally straight it would have taken one hundred showers together to get those things. He closed his eyes and altered his estimation.

In one hundred showers together Zoro would be fucking the blond hard and fast into the now hot, wet tile as the cook bitched at him one second and moaned his name for more the next , just like he had for the previous ninety nine.

Zoros smile grew. This was a very good first shower of the many, many better ones to come.


	2. Explosive: The feeling is like BOOM

Sanji slumped against the barrel of explosive while pressing the long slash across his stomach closed.

It didn't look good. Felt even worse. The blood seemed to pour out of him and he wishes he knew more about anatomy to figure out just where he should be pressing to stop the sticky liquid from slipping through his fingers.

He could probably live if he stood up, turned around and found one of his nakama to take him to Chopper right now. Easier said than done anyway. Not only was he woozy but he could still hear them fighting. He would have to walk across a battle field uninjured further and compromise one of his friends battles. Like hell he'd do that.

The cook pulled a smoke from his pocket and lit with his lucky lighter.

That didn't mean his death couldn't mean something. After this explosion the marines would have no way to get reinforcements.

Zoro turned the corner and spotted him then. Covered in blood, smoking a cigarette, resting on top a pile of gun powder, dynamite, and explosives he had assembled at the base of the bridge before the bastard marine had cornered him, and looking half dead.

"Done already Marimo?" He smirked in genuine pleasure to see the man one last time. "Figures. Will you tell the crew good bye for me?"

The swordsman walked right up to him and pulled the man carefully over his shoulder, ignoring the stilted whine of pain he accidently pulled from the cook in doing so.

"Hell no. You tell them yourself when the time comes." He sounded much too confident that wouldn't be today.

"Such a bastard…I'm trying to be a hero and blow up a bridge here."

"Who's stopping you?"

The cook roughly pulled on the green hair to pull himself up for a better view. Zoro remained silent at the manhandling and continued to walk away from the scene in long purposeful strides.

A deep inhale on the cigarette and an elegant flick into the gunpowder mountain over Zoros shoulder. A whoosh of igniting and then the sky was lit up beautifully in deep reds and vibrant oranges as the sound and air around them boomed.

Zoro held him tighter as he ran and Sanji tried his damndest not to think how this may be the most romantic moment of his life.


	3. Rabbit: Sex like rabbits?

Zoro threw the live rabbit at Sanji with a nasty smirk.

Sure they were lost in the woods and maybe the cook blaming him shouldn't have come as a surprise. Even the demand that Zoro find something edible for them to eat to make up for it, while adding a snide comment about stupidity and getting lost back to camp should have been par for the course too.

He couldn't help but be pissed this time though.

The fact they had been having an unrelated and unresolved fight at the time about how unreasonable it was to plan when their next fuck session might be could be why. Being alone with him in unspoken argument wasn't much fun either.

It was childish to throw an animal at someone you are in a relationship with, let alone a cute fuzzy and very much alive one. Zoro knew it but wanted it hashed out now and on his terms.

"Think you can cook Mr. Bunny?" He called as the critter whizzed directly at the blonds head.

Sanji caught the rabbit without fuss, not even looking up from his impromptu prep area. Now that the thing was locked into his hand he took a moment to look into its pleading cute rabbit eyes, and snapped its neck with a sickening_ crack_.

"Yeah. This will do fine. Good work marimo, now go build us a fire so I have something to cook on."

Zoro just stood there gaping.

"You killed it."

"Yeah." The knife the blond held slit up to the animals chest smoothly. "Kind of the point, idiot, I wasn't about to eat it while it was alive."

"How can you be so calm?" You won't see how dumb you are until we fight.

"Don't you feel more at ease knowing where your next meal is coming from?" Sanji asked back as he skinned the animal.

No. That never bothered him at all actually. He was a fighter and the not knowing of the hunt was the best part. He needed to always adapt to new situations…and thrived off that excitement. If he hadn't caught this rabbit he would have just kept going till he got another.

Sanji wasn't a fighter though, he had to remind himself. It was so easy to forget because….yes he WAS a fighter and one of the crews best and DAMN it was frustrating to know that and see how Sanji didn't see fit to apply himself to that role full time.

No he was a cook. His job was to plan ahead not only food intake but balanced nutrition. Not knowing where the food is to a cook one step closer to starvation…even if you currently have a full stomach.

Zoro looked up from the sticks he had been gathering and over to the cook.

Was it that simple?

Not knowing when they would be intimate again…was that causing the idiot the same kind of anxiety? They had to very careful no one found out about them and that meant long periods where they would get no time together at all.

In the cooks mind did "I don't know when we'll be together again." Actually translate to "This could be the last time."

"Oi! Cook! Matches!" He called and smiled to himself when he snatched them three inches from his face. Sanji gave as good as he got most of the time. Zoro got the fire going and threw the matches back. "Hey…" No need for discussion about this. "Would you be up for sex tonight?"

Sanji flicked the blood off his hands and then dipped them in the small bowl of clean water before wiping them off. He grabbed the two sticks now skewered with rabbit meat and came to sit next to the swordsman on a rock.

"Really?" Sanji had made his voice neutral and gazed at Zoro, waiting for his response.

"Yeah, why not? You still mad?" Zoro wasn't going to go this far without committing.

"No, but why not now? The food needs time to cook anyway." He smirked back as he slowly teased his tie loose.

"Because you like knowing in advance……?" Zoro asked, no longer quite so confident he knew what he was talking about , but pleased at the response he got regardless.

Sanji leaned in to kiss him but stopped short.

"Why do you think we got lost in the woods in the first place?"

Zoro kissed him. It seemed like perfect time to shut him up and get to the properly making up portion of the evening.


	4. Giant: Zoros giant wish

"Well aren't you cute."

Sanji looked at the huge eye balls at the edge of the table and considered doing a running kick to at least blind one of them. If it wasn't for the fact Zoro could squash him perfectly well with one functioning eye he would have done it.

"Here to rub it in asshole?" Sanji snapped as Zoro stood, filling the cooks vision with ugly ass green pants instead.

Zoro snickered as he dropped one of Sanjis favorite tea cups on the table by the cooks side and then more carefully placed a steaming kettle on the table cloth a little ways away. Sanji stumbled a bit as the vibration of the glass against the table sent an earthquake beneath his feet.

"Hey! Watch it! That's my cup you're mucking with Marimo!"

"No I am not here to rub in the fact your dumb ass got cursed by a local gypsy girl…" The smirk betrayed his words nicely to the miniscule five inch blond. "I'm here to give you a bath."

"Just because you are a shitty giant now, doesn't mean I'm a damn baby!"

Zoro poured the hot water into the cup about half way and tested it. Not too hot. Good.

"Maybe you really are a little cute this way…." Zoro argued as he began trying to tug the cooks jacket free. "Your bitching is even cute…like a high pitched squeak." Sanji grew tired of fighting to keep his jacket on and huffed angrily as he yanked it back into his control and took it off.

"I can do it my damn self! I'm not your fucking doll!"

"I won't break you, promise." Zoro ran a fingertip lightly over Sanjis hair, effectively petting him and squatted to be back on eye level with the man.

Sanji looked up from unbuttoning his shirt with a frown and tried to fix his hair that was just so violently mussed.

"You're that into this, shitty giant?"

Zoro shrugged noncommittally but didn't take his eyes off Sanji as he took off his shirt and began to unbuckle his pants.

"How is wanting to play with you anything new, baby shit-cook?"

Sanjis spirit seemed to lift a bit at that and he smirked back.

"Like I'd let you dress me like some shitty doll! I'd end up looking like you!" Sanji stepped out of his pants and glanced around to make sure no ladies were looking through the huge now soaring windows of the room. Satisfied, he pulled down his boxers and put them with the rest of his clothes. Zoro immediately scooped them up and put in his pocket.

"Guess I would have to leave you naked then." He chuckled before wondering if he could make a shrinkage comment without the cook killing him later. Probably not.

"HEY!"

"Just keeping them dry for you. Now get on." He held out his large palm. "I'll give you a lift to your bath."

Sanji blushed and hesitated.  
"What? You don't have anything I haven't seen or touched a dozen times before."

"Yeah…but not all at once." The blond mumbled before climbing up onto the palm and clutching on to the mans slightly curled index finger.

Zoro carefully lifted his hand…perhaps too quickly, as the cooks grip on the finger slipped and he planted face first and clinging for dear life as his naked flesh rubbed obscenely against Zoros sweaty warm, and rough palm. His face burned crimson.

"DAMMIT!" If he hadn't needed a bath before, he certainly felt like he needed one now!

"Ah Sorry..." He held his hand over the tea cup and averted his eyes as the cook pulled himself up and slowly lowered himself into the hot water. A moment later, Zoro placed a cotton swab and a tiny shaving of soap in the cup with him.

The swordsman watched with interest as Sanji tore off a piece of the cotton and began using it like a sponge.

"I think you aren't bad small."

Sanji didn't even look up as he extended his hand and gave Zoro the finger.

"You hate it?"

Sanji looked at him this time.

"What do you think dumbass?"

"I think Nami already bargained for the reversal charm…" Zoro pulled out an old coin on a chain from his pocket. "So there's no reason to worry and not have a little fun first."

Sanji stood and eyed the prize. Just as he contemplated jumping for it Zoro lifted it out of reach.

"Bastard." Sanji slid back into the water and sighed in recognition of the set up.

"So I can let you touch this now and we'd have to explain why you are wet, soapy, and naked on the kitchen table or…" He slipped the chain down the front of his pants and picked up the cup, Sanji and all. "We can go somewhere more private for us to play and you can try your hand at Hide and seek."

Sanji looked at the swordsman in genuine surprise at how much he seemed to be wanting this. Perhaps Zoro was the cute one…he hadn't seen the man this intrigued with something since…well ever.

It was also a little exciting to see the other man so excited to spend time with him.

"Maybe you'd prefer mountain climbing." Zoro tried.

Sanji sighed. This was just painful now.

"Maybe you'd like to hurry the hell up to wherever you're taking me before the water gets cold."

Zoro smiled and Sanji joined him. It could be fun and at the very least a kind of future investment.

If for some reason Zoro was cursed into becoming, let's say, a beautiful woman, Zoro could have no complaints now if Sanji decided to make the most of it. Hey, it is the Grandline…anything could happen.


	5. Perfume: Scent of another

Sanji pulled his lover in for a secret kiss before he returned back on deck, dishes done and first watch ahead of him. Zoro smiled as he waited for it to connect and readied himself for a quick counter attack.

He opened an eye in curiosity when it didn't come.

The blond was close and breathing softly on his neck. The atmosphere had changed to something weird and not playful like it had been a moment earlier.

"A problem cook?"

"Marimo…did you save anyone today?"

The swordsman thought about it a second and ran a hand through the mans blond hair before answering.

"Fished Luffy out a few times, that's about it though."

"Ah…and you haven't started wearing…cologne or something like that?"

Zoro snorted at that and Sanji backed up about a foot and glared a look that made the man almost choke.

"Hell no! Isn't that more your thing?" He countered quickly with a half laugh, sensing danger.

"So tell me…why the fuck do you reek like the red light district?" Sanjis voice was calm but to someone who knew him, he was livid. "That was something we agreed upon wasn't it? That exclusive meant exclusive? Wasn't that YOUR idea? And to think you gave ME a hard time about whether I could resist temptation!"

"No, you got to be kidding!" He pulled his shirt to his nose and sniffed. It probably hurt his cause to make the face he did. There was perfume on him for sure…smelled like he fucking swam in it actually. How had he missed this?

"I don't know how it happened." It wasn't what Sanji was looking for but it was the truth.

"Okay." The blond sighed at last.

"Okay?"

" I'm not touching you until you take a shower anyhow. Plenty of time to figure it out."

"Hey! That's not…"

"Feel free to get your fragrant ass the hell out of my kitchen now."

Zoro left to his watch unsatisfied and with a disturbing mystery to puzzle over.

Meanwhile Nami was looking through Zoros closet for the perfect shirt when Usopp walked by.

"Uh Nami, you realize that is Zoros closet right?"

"Yeah…it is just a little chilly on the autumn island so I need something to wear over my shirt until I can by a light coat. I spent all day shopping yesterday and still couldn't find one. I did get a nice perfume though after the saleswoman felt the need to have me try everything."

"Shouldn't you ask Zoro first or use one of Sanjis? Sanji wouldn't care."

"Zoro owes me enough money he can lend me a shirt once in a while…and as for Sanji." She turned and stuck out her chest a little. "He is a little too thin in the chest area to properly cover the ladies."

"Yeah, he'd like that even more." Usopp mumbled to himself, picturing it.

Nami ignored her long nosed friend as she made her selections.

"Besides, I always take good care of the shirts, iron them, and put them back. What's the harm if he can't even tell the difference?"

Usopp shrugged at that and looked at shirts she chosen.

"The green one is better."

She nodded in agreement and took her new shirt to her room for the next morning.


	6. Art: Art that ignites too much passion

Sanji pulled Zoro around the corner and aggressively pulled him into a kiss, leg wrapping around the swordsmans waist and crushing him forward into him and his blatantly obvious arousal. Sanji groaned excitedly against the mans mouth and tugged at his lovers neck to bring him in closer and deeper.

Zoro shoved him back a second…mostly to catch his breath but had slammed the blond into the other wall of the brick alley so some of his anger must have seeped through a bit unbidden he'd have to work on that.

"Dammit Sanji…you were the one that said we were not allowed to do this in public."

Sanji used the wall to push himself back into Zoro, causing the swordsman to smack into the wall behind him.

"Obviously this is a god damn emergency idiot! I'm so fucking horny it hurts to move." He hissed irritably before bringing his lips to the three dangles hanging from the swordsmans ear and purred in a near whisper. "Come on…please?"

Zoros blood turned hot. Was the cook…begging him?! Please was a pretty foreign word in their relationship and it never sounded so erotic and pleading than coming from the cooks lips now. This was truly a once in a lifetime opportunity but it didn't feel right…he was only horny because of _them_. He looked out of the alley and could still see the mostly naked women posed upon pedestals and slathered in paint. Zoro wasn't into that sort of thing but even he had to admit the models were gorgeous and with each pedestal and theme there was a new exciting theme or slightly erotic element.

The cook had been hard after seeing the first model on display. The artist that had painted her explained how the loosey draped toga slipping past her shoulder was actually made of canvas and that all the models and their clothes were a part of the living piece. Paint from canvas to skin. Creativity to life.

By the third he was having trouble walking. By the forth he saw the chef slip a hand discreetly in his pocket and then suddenly twitch and moan in red hot embarrassment.

He had for all the time they had been lovers…never seen Sanji so turned on.  
When Nami had suggested bringing Sanji to this art exhibition would be a favor to HIM he had laughed right in her face but now he knew she had known this would happen. Known that cook was not going to make it to the other side of the gallery and the exit without relief at least once…and from the look of him now three times might be a conservative estimate.

Sanji had unzipped his pants and hand pushed Zoros hand onto his hardon needfully. He was blushing and breathy now…

" Zoro..." There was an unspoken please whined after his name. He had heard it clear as day.

Zoro gripped it roughly in annoyance, despite his own burning arosal. Sanji yelped and settled into a soft whine at the manhandling.

"I didn't do this shit cook…this should be between you and those girls you love so much." He wasn't entirely sure Sanji would even understand him as he didn't see any sign of the intelligent man in those eyes…just glazed over need.

Sanji wriggled deftly against him, only groaning a bit when Zoro squeezed his junk in warning.

"Damn it marimo…don't you know what art is? I've always considered women works of great beauty and art before…this place combined them into some place not fit for mere mortals." He nearly swooned.

Sure. He knew what art was…it was something to look at, inspire, and appreciate for some personal reason. He knew it was something people tended to take too seriously, spend too much money on, and fuss over too much about. He knew that art was fragile and something you needed to be careful with and not sully or touch no matter how much you might want to.

The art exhibition named Form and Flesh took the cooks very ideal and put it there where it belonged on display teasing him with a dream and bedroom eyes. The desire to feel and experience twisting from below his gut up through his lungs and knowing that the desire was so strong the art would break beneath his wild touch. All and all a dream of bliss wrapped in a reality of torture.

"You are not art marimo...I don't have to treat you gently. You're here and real, and that's all I need and more than I ever realized I wanted."

Translation…they drive me crazy but that just makes it all the more clear that it is you I want to fuck.

Zoro loosened his grip slightly as he began to understand. Sanji moaned and shoved him painfully against the wall again with another needy kiss.

The swordsman returned the kiss and pulled away again with an evil smile. If he was this worked up…why not enjoy it?

"What the fuck is it now?" The blond panted in annoyance.

"I think I want to hear you say please again."


	7. Rivalry: Useless Worry

The situation looked grim.

Zoro took another drink straight from the bottle and relished the particular burn as it ran down his throat.

A lot of people thought he and the cook were rivals.

That was entirely wrong of course. Rival implies that they had the same goal.

No…when their dreams were so different they weren't rivals. They were nakama and sometimes in the dark corners of the ship or private moments alone, something more undefined but definitely physical and deeper than nakama.

Zoro was prepared for every damn person on the Grandline wielding a sword to be a rival.

Somewhere along the way Sanji had become a goal of sorts too and that presented a whole new handful of rivals he hadn't been expecting, especially now that it was apparent the cook went both ways as long as they met his criteria.

Men had to be at least as strong in their character, will, ability, and rugged good looks as he considered himself. Sanjis' pride wouldn't let him slum and he was practical enough not to go for anyone trying to kill or capture him (as long as they were male anyway).

Girls had to have a pulse and not be horrifyingly old or ugly.

Zoro took another swig as he began to tick off fingers.

That meant Ace was probably his only real rival for the moment, although he would have to worry about Luffy in a year or two. Two fingers.

A third and fourth finger. Nami. Robin. They were both close…although neither seemed to have interest in the cook (yet) the reverse certainly wasn't true.

His last finger. The overwhelming question mark. Every other girl in the world with a chest and a make up kit. Every other good looking pirate they may meet in the new world. Was Law his type? Mihawk even?

Zoro stared at the finger and raised the bottle to his lips to drain the rest dry. Annoying.

That seemed like a pain in the ass amount of rivals.

Sanji stirred in the bed next to him and looked up at him through mussed blond hair and half opened blurred eyes.

"Lose count on how many times we did it or bottles you polished off?"

Zoro smirked. He wasn't worried about any of the challengers with blades. His confidence in his swordsmanship and training was unshakeable. This man though…

Sanji propped himself up on his elbow and checked the clock before suggestively wrapping his hand around the swordmans and pulling free the empty bottle…letting it drop the short distance to the floor with a thud.

If Sanjis sated smile and beckoning bedroom eyes were to be believed maybe he didn't have anything to worry about on this end either.

"If it wasn't the booze how about adding a few more fingers? We have time till the ship leaves."

Yes. He didn't have anything to worry about. He was aiming to be the worlds greatest after all and that meant he shouldn't concern himself with those chasing him…only the being the best at the goal in front of him.

With a feral grin Zoro ripped off the mans sheet in answer.


	8. Tombstone: Goodbye to a Cook

Zoro wasn't crying but he was surprised at how close tears were to coming now that he stood in the stark graveyard.

The man dressed in black next to him, shifted the small dark book to the other hand and said something about the man buried under their feet. Zoro wasn't really listening…the broken scratchy voice enough for him to feel the sad sentiment welling in the pit of his stomach.

He continued to stare at the tombstone as if in a trance and had to be nudged by the man next to him to be reminded to step up and pour the bottle of expensive wine over its top.

_A cook to whom there is no measure, A pirate whose kicks commanded respect, and a man missed by all is laid here to await his dream and inspire those who seek it. All Blue. _

Zoro stepped back as his companion placed the log book on the grave.

The mans hand was shaking when it returned next to him so Zoro took it into his.

The discomfort of the tombstone eased up as he squeezed the hand.

The tombstone was too close…like the promise of misery yet to come.

Sanjis eyes were red but he was still alive, Zoro squeezed the hand again and felt it squeeze back to be sure. Sanji was alive so he could stand silently as his cook told the shitty old man just what he had thought of him and any good byes he had until Sanji was ready to go.


	9. Unlucky: Underestimating him?

The bar was full of single beautiful women, newly thankful that their village had been saved by the Strawhat pirates. Some were hitting already hitting the booze. It really couldn't get any easier for the cook. He was the best looking of the crew (well unless they dug scars and strength…but it was fine by Zoro that they didn't seem to) and he certainly was the most irritatingly polite and willing to please a pretty face.

Annoying.

Some girls were already trying to corner the cook and hint that he should follow them to their beds. Sanji was oblivious, picking that unfortunate moment to flirt with one of the more shy girls too timid to approach him.

The cook had everything going for him and yet his own female-attention seeking personality was sabotaging him, clustering the girls around himself and trying to divide his attention equally meant the evening was sure to end with nothing of consequence happening for the idiot. Zoro would feel bad for the man but couldn't help smiling a bit, he brought it on himself really.

Usopp sat next to him and followed his gaze to the blond, picking up on his thoughts and ordering another drink with a smile.

"Ha! Too many girls this time? Sanji's unlucky in love, huh? He seems happy enough though."

"The ero-cook is never going to get laid." Zoro nodded into his drink as he tried to figure out why he even gave a damn enough to watch the blonds behavior all night.

"Oh you think so?" Nami cut in as she smirked from behind them. "I don't think you're giving Sanji-kun enough credit."

"Oh you have some plans later or something?" the swordsman sneered and instantly regretted it as the fist slammed painfully into his skull. His eyes flicked to Sanji and sighed in relief that at least the cook hadn't seen and wasn't about to stalk over and start something too.

"NO. I was merely saying I think Sanji-kun is smart enough to go home with exactly who he wants." She explained. Both men turned to stare at her and then shifted their eyes back to the man in question and then back to her in disbelief.

"He seems like the same old idiot around girls to me." Zoro commented and Usopp nodded in agreement. "Not to mention he's never gone home with one before."

Nami cocked her head at Zoro for a long moment before smirking.

"Exactly."

"HUH? What's that supposed to..?" He didn't finish as an evil gleam sparkled in their navigator's eye and she thrust out a hand greedily.

"How much is the answer worth to you?"

Zoro turned back his attention to his mug with firm disinterest.

"Nothing."

Usopp laughed and Nami almost pouted before taking her drink elsewhere. Zoro poured himself another. The cook now had two women nuzzling each side of his neck, asking for something, and he really didn't want to think of the navigators implication. He could have anyone…but the ones he ran across hadn't been what he wanted. Right? Wasn't that the gist of what she had been saying? That when it came to going home with someone the pervert chef was actually _picky_?!

Zoro refused to look back at the cook again and drank another. Then another. Then countless others.

He was being nudged awake by Sanjis elbow next thing he knew.

"Morning already?" Zoro yawned and the cook chuckled as he began fishing out a cigarette.

"You could say that, more or less."

Zoro looked around and almost laughed at the scene in the predawn light. The women that had been circling around Sanji all night were still there, in a sleeping heap against each other and covered with blankets much like the one the cook was pulling of Zoros shoulders now. Sanji must have borrowed them from the innkeeper he had saved last night. Still the hint of the red on the cooks face seemed to be from the buzz of alcohol and not so much any naked affection he might have received.

"No luck?" Zoro asked as he titled his head toward the cooks would-be harem.

"Pft! Like luck is even involved! I don't want to break these girls hearts or find out years down the road I had a shitty kid along the way I never knew about." The tone was a little harsher than Zoro was used to the cook using in terms of women and he couldn't help feeling that maybe Sanji didn't appreciate it when the hunt for girls was too easy after all.

So Nami had been right. The cook had known what he'd been doing the entire time.

The next moment Sanji took a breath and exhaled the smoke of his cigarette in a more gentle sigh than anything else.

"Come on Marimo…the log pose is set, let's get back to the ship before the marines crash through here looking for us."

"Oi! I'm not that drunk, I can make it myself!"

The cook laughed at him like he had just told the funniest thing he had heard all week.

"Shithead, you couldn't get there perfectly sober with your sense of direction. Come on, let me take you home."

_"Sanji-kun is smart enough to go home with exactly who he wants."_

Oh.

Zoro grinned as he stood up and gathered his swords. That made everything so much clearer.

Turns out he was the unlucky one for not noticing all this time…

…Or maybe all the women on the Grandline were the unlucky ones because now that he knew, they REALLY didn't stand a chance.


	10. Mountain: A scars origin

The cook had taken off his shirt to change into his desert robes and there had been a cursory glance in his direction to file away what was happening under all those layers of unneeded clothing since the last time he had the chance to look.

A scar. A rather new and fresh scar clearly visible to those not even really looking for it. It didn't belong on the cooks body. Not only cutting a disturbing line through the creamy flesh but because he hadn't seen it done, hadn't heard about it, and had no frame of reference.

Was it a cowardly hit to the back? Was the cooks life on the line? Where had Zoro been?

At some point he must have rushed over to the cooks side because he was running a hand down the cooks back till reaching the scar as if trying to break the illusion. It shouldn't be there. Sanji twisted around with a strange expression on his face. Zoro chalked it up to the chef being ticklish and tried breaking the illusion by starting at the top of the cooks ass and pulling the hand up to meet the stitched flesh this time.

Sanji shoved him off uncomfortably.

"What the fuck!? Stop touching me unless you want to start something!"

The swordsman withdrew his hand.

"Where'd this come from?"

Sanji shrugged and pulled the robes over the scrutinized area.

"Surgery from Drum."

There was _surgery_?

The swordsman grabbed the mans shoulder in silent, demanding need to know.

"It wasn't really a big deal…well it could have been. There was a fight with lapan rabbit bastards, which was fine until I took a spill into an avalanche. Luffy dragged me up the mountain to Choppers' granny and really her treatment was the worst part of the whole thing."

Zoro silently cursed the mountains and the avalanche and especially himself.

"OI! Let go!" Sanji winced and the swordsman realized his hand hadn't let go and was digging into the cooks shoulder. Without thought he released the hand only to tug the cook into a hug. "Marimo! What's wrong with you! Anyone could come in and see!"

Zoro hugged tighter before releasing him.

Stupid cook. A spill is just another name for a fall…

"Just glad you survived."

I don't think I could have gone through it again.


	11. Welcome: Gone Away

Zoro heard the key slide into the front door from his bedroom. Sure he had been more aware of everything during his meditation but he'd probably have heard it anyway.

The house was deathly silent with out him after all.

Today the local girl Sanji had hired before he'd left was supposed to stop in and do laundry, clean, and make meals for the week. She was blond and neat and did things in a very Sanji way.

He'd often wonder if that was the cooks way to make sure he wouldn't be forgotten or replaced too quickly or if it was really just to make sure things were how he liked them when he returned.

Zoro'd try purposely forget her name. He didn't need a place holder. She was temporary and luckily understanding. Apparently Sanji had warned her about him.

He opened his eyes as the sounds of steps into the house twitched an alarm in his head. It wasn't her. This was a man. Was he back?

_"Do you have any plans on coming back, shit-cook?"_

"Of course, dumbass. This is my home too."

"When?"

"When he is dead."

"I could…"

"NO. I'll take care of it. My responsibility."

"Alright."

"If you find someone else, I'll..."

"NO."

"Alright." 

The swordsman stood and walked a little quicker than he would admit to the living room, hope blooming in his chest. Truthfully he had been surprised at how much he missed his house mate. It wasn't like he hadn't been busy…but he couldn't help but wonder if he really was coming back.

A pirate living with a shinbuchi on an island with an active marine base was sure to be tough. He could easily stay at one of the restaurants he had established. The 'Baratie in Blue' was a no brainer…looking out on Sanjis dream and the most elegant flagship of them all.

He just didn't understand the idiot. Why come with him?"

_"You have a contract to the world government for five years?"_

"Yeah, but then I'll be free of my bounty and can do the hell what I want."

"So you are leaving? I didn't get a chance to cook you something from All Blue yet."

"If I don't get back my contract is forfeit."

"Give me five minutes to pack."

"What?! Why?"

"Like I trust the goddamn world government to hold up any kind of bargain. Besides I'm not going to let you become some boring dog of the government…you'll need someone to kick the sense back into you when you come home."

"Home?"

"Yeah…you know, the place we'd live? Unless you have a problem with that...or maybe someone else to think about?"

"No. There isn't anyone else. You can come if you want. We'll probably end up killing eachother though."

"Hmm...We'll see. If it doesn't work out I can always just leave." 

Sanji had always been home when he walked through the door...until that day he walked in to find the cook suitcase in hand on his way out. But he had said he would be back. Left his damn stuff here.

Coming home to stuff wasn't nearly as much comfort as coming home to him. Drinks with him. Fights with him. Laughs with him.

_"Today I had to fight someone with the Meat Meat Devil Fruit."_

"HA! I bet Luffy would have loved to see that."

"Bet he'd want that fruit instead."

"Good thing he didn't get it. Is it cannibalism if he eats himself? Whatever, it would have made my job easier." 

Zoros chuckle froze as he spotted the man in the living room. The black suit not the one he had been expecting. He drew a sword.

"Who are you?"

The man gasped and backed up in fright.

"Uh, Charles, sir! I'm with the currier agency. I was sent by a Mr. Sanji to collect his belongings..."

So that was how it is. He really wasn't coming back. The bastard had lied. He wondered when it fell apart...when he made up the story about the man facing death. Everything and nothing crashed into him as he sunk to the carpet.

_"I can always just leave." _

"Take 'em."

"Sure sir, if you will just sign here." He held out the pen and clipboard and Zoro reached for it just as the man was sent flying deep into the wall. A picture frame was jarred loose and fell off after the impact.

Zoro turned his head at the point of attack.

"HEY ASSHOLE! FIGURES YOU'D BE HERE! THIS IS THE FUCKING DESTINATION NOT THE POINT OF ORIGIN!! ALL MY SHIT IS ON THE DOCKS RIGHT NOW AND YOU BETTER GO GET IT NOW OR I SWEAR I WILL BOIL YOU IN YOUR OWN SHITTY BLOOD!"

Sanji.

Sanji was here. Pissed, granted. But here. That was him smoking a cigarette and tossing a leather bag onto the couch in frustration.

And it sounded like he bought more useless stuff for the house.

He was back.

He shouldn't hug him so tightly....but Sanjis surprise melted away and he returned the sudden and violent embrace.

"I'm back, Marimo."

"Welcome home." Was all he could think to say.

----------------------

Notes: Sanji could obviously gone to take care of a dying Zeff...but if you find that boring I was intrigued with the idea of one of Sanjis apprentices actually becoming an evil chef and Sanji having to hunt down and kill his evil pupil. Go with what floats your boat.


	12. Secret: Values versus dreams

Sanji sat back in the chair and tried to light his cigarette many times without success. It was frustrating to watch so Zoro reached in and snatched the lighter from the blonds grip and setting the flame he conjured from it with no problem to the end of the mans cigarette.

Sanji inhaled and nodded his thanks.

The unspoken question hung heavy in the air of the galley.

"We turn around." The cook finally answered.

Zoro exhaled, both surprised and not at the answer.

All the clues pointed in this direction along with the log pose. The area was surrounded by tall jutting seastone reefs and the only way through was a river water way that passed through this island. A gated river water way, actually.

Apparently this island was also a sacred temple and the beautifully feminine gate guards, swords at the ready, had denied them access. Actually that was putting it kindly. Apparently Zoro had been standing too close to the cook and they divined all sorts of things about his relationship with the other man (some true, some not) and had dubbed them too filthy to enter.

Sanji was heartbroken although Zoro had to admit the cook was putting on a very good front. He hadn't even denied the accusations flying at him like Zoro had expected. Instead he tilted his head forward to hide his eyes and said "Sorry ladies, but I just can't think how that is any of your business."

He followed the cook back to the ship for the cooks decision. All Blue should only be beyond the next island or so. They could fight their way through easily.

"What will you tell Luffy?" Or yourself. Or the old man back at the restaurant. Zoro added silently.

Sanji frowned and stared hard into the table. That was harder. When the king of pirates tells you to go find All Blue and lends a ship and the worlds greatest swordsman to do it…to come back empty handed seemed impossible. Especially when they were so close.

"I'll come back in a few years…they probably won't remember me. I'll come alone. I'll study this religion of theirs and make sure I pass their…expectations next time."

Fuck that. Zoro was already pretty damn proud of the cook. He had been ready for Sanji to deny even friendship with him in order to follow his dream and Zoro wouldn't have blamed him at all. Instead Sanji had already decided long before he wasn't going to compromise on his values to get there. Loyalty. His willingness to put his wishes aside for others. The damn chivalry.

Zoro smiled. That was like the cook.

"I'll make us lunch if you want to get the ship ready."

He stood and headed out the door, leaving Sanji at the table, smoking another cigarette.

"I'll take care of it."

Zoro kept walking past the sail, grabbed the railing and jumped back to the dock. He headed back to the gate guardians and let his battle aura unfurl around him this time. He released his swords and took a breath.

Zoro was a different sort of man. He had the same loyalty, sure, but that was exactly why he wasn't going to let Sanji try to change himself and come back alone.

This is what Luffy had been talking about when he had pulled him aside the night of the victory party.

_"Zoro…he's dumb enough to think now that I'm pirate king his dream is going to hold me back. I have to let him go but you wanted to go with him anyway right? He isn't like you… he might find he can't do something that he needs to be done. When the time comes, keep it a secret."_

Zoro grinned at the few guards that hadn't gone down. He hadn't really understood what Luffy meant at the time. He kind of guessed it meant, help him fight a stronger enemy he can't take down and not rub it in his face.

No. Luffy had meant this. Sanji was going to turn around and sail AWAY from his dream because some pretty ladies told him he wasn't worthy and they weren't going to let them through. Not like the cook would be willing to lay a hand on them to demand otherwise.

"We are going through your damn island. If you or your god has a problem with it I'm ready to fight, come on! He might not be willing to kill for his dream, but I am."

Fifteen minutes later they were sailing through the islands open gates and Zoro could only smirk behind his delicious yakitori as Sanji looked dumbfounded over the now deserted guard post and village streets.

"Did they say why they changed their minds?" Sanji asked in disbelief.

Zoro shrugged and tossed the stick over board.

Sanji sighed contently and let his spent cigarette flick into over the side to follow Zoros stick and placed a hand on the swordsmans back.

A long low chime of bells began in the distance. Someone was left to hold a funeral it seemed. Zoro shifted his swords and pat Sanji on the back in return. He hoped that whoever it was could keep a secret as well as himself…they had to come back this way after all and the cook would never know about the blood shed for his dream.

It was Zoros promise and secret to keep after all.


	13. Spine: Dream Changer

Zoro still noticed the sounds even if the cook didn't. The quiet whirl or hum of machinery.

He should have been there when Sanji had been defending the ship…not trying to out drink the rest of his nakama at the tavern. Not like he and his lover had much alone time, he had been an idiot and left him alone. His wanting to feel ground again under his feet after more than a month at sea seemed like a pathetic excuse now, no matter how much Sanji had insisted it was okay.

The gears whirled as the cook walked to the stove to get the kettle, the metal legs smoothly responding to Sanjis commands.

It had been like it was no big deal to Sanji. The man had defended their home against bandits that felt like they had something to prove and was covered in blood from having crawled through their now dead bodies to find material to tie to legs to stop the flow of blood pouring out of him.

When the tipsy crew had returned, he was still holding on to consciousness just long enough to tell Chopper he thought a sword nicked his spine. A sword! That made it even worse! Just by looking at the battle field that was the Sunnys deck he could tell that most of the men had gone down without much problem for the cook but two of them actually knew how to use their swords. One of those two Zoro would have liked to fight.

But Sanji was just smiling back at the drunk crew with pride that he protected the boat and promptly fell unconscious.

The fact he no longer had legs seemed to escape his thoughts.

Chopper had later confirmed that yes, a good section of spinal cord was cut clean through and even if Sanji hadn't lost his legs, he certainly wouldn't have felt them.

Franky, Chopper, and even Usopp collaborated to try and make the cook a pair of legs that were perfect and they came pretty close. The legs were waterproof, rustproof, and allowed the cook to walk around like the accident hadn't even happened.

Not that Sanji cared that much because, hey, as long as his fucking hands were okay he could cook.

Zoro minded though. Not only the fact that he wasn't there but the fact was now in a way incomplete and didn't seem to have the decency to be pissed off about it.

Sure the legs were great…but for all their steel and technology Sanjis real legs had been stronger and much more fine-tuned and flexible. Sanjis fighting power without those hairy legs was significantly less.

And then when he tried to pretend like the incident hadn't happened and he'd pin the cook to the wall with every intention to screw the blond and send things back to normal, it was that hard metal fakes that wrapped around his waist awkwardly, reminding him of the truth in the end.

"Stop being such an idiot." Sanji commanded as he poured the swordsman a cup of green tea. "I know this is eating you up but my dream doesn't require me to have legs."

Zoro sighed as he took a sip of tea. The gentle whirl of Sanjis legs as he sat down. He could hear it as clear as thunder.

You had legs in MY dream shit-cook! He wanted to scream it. The part after I win the title…I come back to the ship and everyone is safe and happy. You had legs in my dream.

"I'll need time to work through it on my own."

Sanjis very real and precious hands reached out and pulled him into a hug.

Altering a dream was something that didn't come easy for the man after all.


	14. Sickness 1 The Rose lives

Zoros eyelids felt bruised and heavy…but he thought he heard something. Something his subconscious didn't readily identify but said was really important. So with as much energy he could muster he took the enormous effort of opening his eyes.

There was a ghost at the end of his infirmary bed it seemed as the blurry edges of the man merged with the overhead lights in a bright ethereal haze.

Not enough power, Zoro chided himself. He squinted and willed his eyes to focus.

Slowly the throb of his eyelids receded and he became more in tune with his surroundings. The outline snapped into focus around a blond in a sharp black suit, red rose still pinned into the lapel like the last time he had seen the man. He could hear him clearly now too, cursing to himself as he paced in agitation.

"What the hell are you doing shitty Marimo?! How would it look to all the mini shitheads out there if they train and train only to find the greatest swordsman in the world was defeated by some damn excuse for a stinking flu?"

"Sanji?" He tried but it came out more as a rasp. It wasn't just a flu and he could tell the shit cook knew it too. Chopper had been brave and gave it to him straight. The Midori plague. Stage three. He had been in quarantine for who knows how long…the cook was breaking Choppers protocol by even being here.

The cook didn't even look at him as he continued pacing.

"You need to concentrate on healing idiot! Talking to me, is the last thing I want to see you do!" But as Zoro remained silent, the cooks eyes flashed to him. Zoro just followed the cooks pacing with his eyes…waiting for him to continue.

Sanji stopped next to the bed and glared at the swordsman, who glared right back. Suddenly the cook seemed to explode.

"FUCK! Do you even know how sick you are right now? " He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and took a deep breath. Sanji reached into a pocket and pulled out a cigarette that was definitely not allowed in the infirmary, lit it, and took a drag before addressing him calmly. "It's been a while Zoro."

There was a kind of nostalgic and serious tone to his voice Zoro wasn't entirely sure he liked. Maybe it was Stage four now and the crew was sent in to say their goodbyes.

"I've been sleeping a long time…ya miss me that much, shit cook? Or does the fact you aren't wearing a protective suit and smoking mean they've given up and it's Stage 4?"

"That fact you don't know what it means tells volumes. " Sanji groaned before his expression turned softer. "And since I 'm here with you there isn't a way I can miss your ugly mug anymore right?" Another drag on the cigarette. "Listen though. You need to go to sleep and think about healing yourself. Chopper is working on a cure for you right now."

"No way…I just woke up. I kind of want to talk with you first."

"There is all the time in the world to talk to me after you stinking die Marimo! That's not today, right?"

Die.

Zoro was looking harder at Sanji as something tickled his memory. Why was Sanji wearing a rose again?

"Oi…I've been quarantined for weeks…how is that rose still alive?"

Sanji smiled a sad smile.

"You gave this to me months before you got the plague, idiot."

"There's no way it could live that long." Zoro answered, suddenly uneasy.

"No, there isn't. "

He felt the tide of his consciousness start to ebb away .

He wanted to stay with this man. It felt like closing his eyes and slipping back to sleep would mean pain and loneliness of the quarantine. His eyelids slumped back over his eyes and Sanjis voice whispered to him in an almost echo.

"Congratulations on the title, Marimo. We knew you could do it. She thinks you should defend it a little longer though. Don't let her down."

Zoro was up for the challenge.


	15. Sickness 2 alt vers: His Prince

Zoros eyelids felt bruised and heavy…but he thought he heard something. Something his subconscious didn't readily identify but said was really important. So with as much energy he could muster he took the enormous effort of opening his eyes.

There was a ghost at the end of his infirmary bed it seemed as the blurry edges of the man merged with the overhead lights in a bright ethereal haze.

Not enough power, Zoro chided himself. He squinted and willed his eyes to focus.

Slowly the throb of his eyelids receded and he became more in tune with his surroundings. The outline snapped into focus around a blond in a sharp black suit, red rose still pinned into the lapel like the last time he had seen the man. He could hear him clearly now too, cursing to himself as he paced in agitation.

"What the hell are you doing shitty Marimo?! How would it look to all the mini shitheads out there if they train and train only to find the greatest swordsman in the world was defeated by some damn excuse for a stinking flu?"

"Sanji?" He tried but it came out more as a rasp. It wasn't just a flu and he could tell the shit cook knew it too. Chopper had been brave and gave it to him straight. The Midori plague. Stage three. He had been in quarantine for who knows how long…the cook was breaking Choppers protocol by even being here.

The cook didn't even look at him as he continued pacing.

"You need to concentrate on healing idiot! Talking to me, is the last thing I want to see you do!" But as Zoro remained silent, the cooks eyes flashed to him. Zoro just followed the cooks pacing with his eyes…waiting for him to continue.

Sanji stopped next to the bed and glared at the swordsman, who glared right back. Suddenly the cook seemed to explode.

"FUCK! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! " He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and took a deep breath. Sanji reached into a pocket and pulled out a cigarette that was definitely not allowed in the infirmary, lit it, and took a drag before addressing him calmly. "It's been a while Zoro."

There was a kind of nostalgic and serious tone to his voice Zoro wasn't entirely sure he liked. Maybe it was Stage four now and the crew was sent in to say their goodbyes.

"I've been sleeping a long time…ya miss me that much, shit cook? Or does the fact you aren't wearing a protective suit and smoking mean they've given up and it's Stage 4?"

"That fact you don't know what it means tells volumes. " Sanji groaned before his expression turned softer. "And since I 'm here with you there isn't a way I can miss your ugly mug anymore right?" Another drag on the cigarette. "Listen though. You need to go to sleep and think about healing yourself. Chopper is working on a cure for you right now."

"No way…I just woke up. I kind of want to talk with you first."

"There is all the time in the world to talk to me after you stinking die Marimo! That's not today, right?"

Die.

Zoro was looking harder at Sanji as something tickled his memory. Why was Sanji wearing a rose again?

"Oi…I've been quarantined for weeks…how is that rose still alive?"

Sanji smiled a sad smile.

"You don't remember giving it to me?"

"Sure I do…it was after I was dueling Mihawk. You had been fighting that feathered bastard that made Nami do those things…and…" He paused as memories flooded back to him about the weeks before being holed up in the villages quarantine.

Nami had bought the flowers. Zoro didn't have any money…just the title he was after. He would have to trade with her on that he figured as he snatched one of her roses. He snapped off the stem before slipping it into the mans lapel button hole. While the hand was there it straightened his tie. Then moved to his face.

Sanji never had he seemed like a prince to Zoro until this moment, but no kiss would bring him back.

But here was the cooks' hand going to brush through Zoros hair. The hand coasted through like a barely there breeze.

"Trust me marimo, it's a good thing we can't touch yet. I'm waiting but I sure as hell ain't in any hurry. So close your eyes and let go of here. "

Zoro was pretty sure he felt tears on his cheeks when he closed his eyes and didn't know whose they were. He felt sleep coming to his consciousness and the cook slipping away, but before it was gone there was his voice whispering close into his ear.

"She says congratulations Zoro. And to defend the title a little longer because an illness isn't any better than falling down the stairs for the purpose it gives. She says she's very proud of you Zoro. She isn't the only one."


	16. Outcast: Too good to be true

It started off with his eye. The shitty townsfolk said he had been cursed or something. Whatever the reason his curly brows and whatever they saw under his fringe of hair made him an outcast right from the start. He had no love for them either, truth be told.

He hadn't so much been placed on the Orbit as exiled there. To be with people who, by the towns peoples words, were too dumb to realize they had been scammed taking him aboard. They made fun of his dream for All Blue but since they were the ones that gave it to him he supposed they felt guilty and accepted him out of pity. The unwanted child they had turned into some dreaming fool. They were alright people...they didn't deserve the trip to the sea floor they had gotten.

The shitty geezer. Well in a way, he had been an outcast too so he was the first to understand.

The cooks that came to the Baratie afterward were a different story. He had been too young at first to be accepted. Then he was too _pretty_ or too gay to be associated with. He'd rather be called a fag or whatever the fuck they wanted to say than be called pretty. At least that would acknowledge him.

A man who cares to fuck another. Love another. But still a fucking man.

Flirting with girls helped ease the harassment, although that was only why he had started at first. It quickly became addictive. Not only did they deserve the worship but they would smile and say thank you. Make you feel like you had a purpose. Belonged somewhere in the world. Accepted more often than not with just a glance and perhaps a kind word.

He had known it was too good to be true.

A shitty rubber pirate, not meaning to, but promising everything.

A place for him, his dream. With people as much outcasts as himself.

He shouldn't have been so lured in.

If he had been more on guard he wouldn't have made the passing comment.

Zoro sweating on the deck, lifting insane amounts of weight, shirtless. A delivery of lemonade forgotten.

"Looking good." Slipped from his lips in appreciation before he could think about it.

The weights dropped to the deck softly with a well-practiced move and the man stalked over to him.

"What did you say?" He asked as he grabbed the mans shirt with a snarl.

Fuck it. With two words his place was gone. A part of him wanted to retreat, deny what he had said.

"I SAID, shit for brains, 'Looking good.'" His pride would have him die first before he took that option.

He could picture it now…

Dropped off at the next port. Hell- maybe even tossed into the ocean. They would look at him with disgust and disappointment. Last crew member to join…the easiest mistake to discard.

"That is what I thought you said."

Sanji didn't see the hit connect…even though on some level he knew it was coming. There was just pain and a burst of blood as his nose broke. Another hit and then another. He'd pant and grunt in agony. He would start trying to defend himself too late and be left on the deck a bleeding worthless mess until blackness took him.

"Oi."

Zoro cracked open an eye and looked over at the blond crewmate he probably had let into his bed a little too quickly.

"Hnn?"

Sanji was looking up at the ceiling like he expected it to fall on him at any second. He took a drag off his cigarette and twitched his unbroken nose (still in denial over the hit that never came).

"I thought you were going to kill me." He looked to the swordsman. "Why didn't you?"

Zoro pulled the blonds cigarette to his lips for a drag. Sanji stared.

"Why would I kill nakama? Besides this seemed like more fun." He smirked a large grin. "Wasn't it?"

He was pretty sure an outcast wasn't supposed to feel so at home…but as Zoro pulled him closer he was sure he could get used to it.

"Yeah."


	17. Grandline: Warning Vs Promise

The Grand Line is a pirate's graveyard.

Zoro had accepted death whenever or wherever it may come when he had decided to follow the path to becoming the greatest swordsman. With his conviction, he didn't give a damn if his grave was among the others on the Grand Line or not…just as long as he died with no regrets.

Sanji though.

Zoro knew the shit cook was strong but sometimes he'd see the cook like this, looking out on the sunset smoking another cigarette, and wonder if he really had thought this through enough. He couldn't help it…Sanji just looked so damn out of place sometimes. Like the wind could blow him away over the oceans to land in some quaint bistro somewhere where he would drink too expensive coffee and try (try being the operative word) to charm the ladies.

He did not look a man who accepted his death at all let alone the fact he was probably already on the strip of water where it would take him.

"You know we are probably going to die out here somewhere. The Grand Line." In the pause that followed Zoro wished he hadn't spoken, easily marring the picturesque scene of their newest nakama in a moment of rare vulnerability and even rarer quiet. The calm, peaceful face now frowning after another puff and turning away from the ocean to face the swordsman.

Sanji surprised him though by turning back to the sunset and smiling.

"The Grand Line is the pirates graveyard, huh?"

Zoro nodded with the barest shrug.

"Maybe it's because they find what they're looking for."

"Huh?"

Sanjis smile turned a little distant.

"If it exists, my dream, it is definitely here. If it doesn't, I'll be with you guys looking for it. I can't think of one shitty way I'd rather go."

Zoro couldn't really either.

Strange, he had always taken the saying as a warning not some secret promise.

The Grand Line, if you follow your dreams here, you can die happy.

It didn't have the same ring to it…but looking at the blond standing in front of the sinking sun he had to admit, he liked it better.


	18. Pain: Pull and Squeeze

Sanji was perfectly silent despite Zoros best attempt at a jab to lighten the mood. Something about him being too slow to dodge the spiked javelin that now rested in a more broken form between his thigh and groin and the other piercing his left shoulder.

Oh he had a good comeback right on the tip of his tongue but he was pretty sure if he opened his lips at the moment and gave breath to anything it would be a loud scream that would come instead. He didn't want to scream in front of Zoro. A simple yell or gasp in battle was one thing but this was well after the fact in the safety of the ship with Chopper examing him.

Like hell he was going to show any weakness to him. Not after the macho idiots 'taking all the pain' incident at Thriller bark. Sanji wanted to prove to him he could have handled it. Pain was nothing.

But oh god did it hurt like a son of a bitch! Not just the fact he was speared through twice or that the barbed spikes on it meant that yanking the suckers out was going to do even more damage. There was something else making this pain feel so much more _right there_ in front of his eyes, a sort of stinging, impossible to ignore pain. Like acid eating away at the outer edges of his wounds trying to work further in.

Chopper seemed to notice this too and began to move around a lot quicker.

"Sanji…they coated these things in a snake venom meant to attack your nervous system…this has got to be killing you. We got to get these things out of you before too much of it seeps into your blood stream." The doctor was being especially apologetic and gave Zoro a look that the cook missed.

This was going to be even more painful.

Sanji was about to foolishly shrug when he remembered the thing sticking out of his shoulder. He felt a little feverish at the efforts so far at trying not to scream. A hand took his and squeezed and when he realized it was Zoros he tried to shake it off. It didn't budge.

"This will hurt a lot when I pull it out…"

Sanji set all his focus to his throat obeying his command and opened his mouth, forming each word slowly and precisely.

"I don't need my hand held…just give me something to bite down on.."

Zoro was placing the hilt of that white sword he loves so damn much in his mouth and took back the hand he had been holding. Before he could object to either action Chopper began a countdown…as his larger form held Sanjis right shoulder still while grabbing the offending spear newly cleared of spikes.

"3…2….1…" And Chopper yanked the thing out.

The pain was immense.

Sanji bit down on the hilt without mercy, knowing that if it was Zoros sword, she could take all he had and probably more. How he decided it was a she he didn't know. Tears were spilling out of his closed eyes and he hoped he could pass that off for sweat later even as he grunted some intangible swear.

The hand in Zoros was being squeezed hard by the swordsman and he thought somewhere behind all that pain that maybe the idiot was worried or perhaps trying to take his mind of the present pain by making him worry about his precious hand being broken instead.

There was quiet in the room for a second except for heavy panting and Sanji was quite proud he held back the whine he felt as his shoulder structure felt like it was collapsing to fill the now vacant hole.

Zoro squeezed his hand again as Chopper seemed to work in light speed, cleaning up the shoulder and mending it. He would be done soon enough and the thing sticking out soooo close to his manhood would be yanked out too.

The hilt in his mouth was wet from his saliva and he frowned as he tried to remember if this was the one the idiot put in his mouth all the time for his technique and if so if this was just a ploy to have the cook be given an indirect kiss.

Idiot.

The hand squeezed his again.

Even though he didn't need or want the hand squeezing his…he couldn't help but admit it made him feel better to think that Zoro did.


	19. Snow: It's cold outside

Nami and Franky were saying the same things. The snow had become a problem. Too much snow and ice were making the ship top heavy. A gale force wind or a rogue wave hit them now and the Sunny would roll.

Zoro didn't mind the work all that much. He hadn't even noticed the snow enough to have awoken from his nap(despite it blanketing him up to his jaw) until the shoe had connected and its owner informed him his lazy ass was needed to break the accumulating ice and push it and any extra snow overboard.

Just another form of training, swinging the large mallet against the ice encrusted railings. A satisfying crack and the thunk to deck followed pleasantly. He could even perform katas this way. Idly he wondered if there were another two mallets down in storage.

"Sanji! That is dangerous!" Choppers voice caught his attention and he strained his eyes through the blizzard to see what the cook could be doing to cause their doctor such concern.

Sanji was standing on one leg both hands plunged deep into his pockets and kicking the ice off the boat. It was a precarious effort as the one leg keeping him steady was sliding with the icy slush beneath his feet. One wrong move and he could slip overboard and plunge into the water so cold his body would start shutting down near immediately. Strange that he would take the risk. Just pick up a damn hammer or shovel already.

The idiot cook shrugged.

"It's fine Chopper. I'll be careful." The huff of white ghosts trails of cold as he talked made Zoro aware that the cook wasn't actually smoking for once. Stranger still.

A hit landed on his head and he clutched it in pain before whipping around to the culprit in a snarl.

"What the hell was that for!?"

Nami pulled the black fur lined gloves up tighter around her hands with a smile.

"Stop staring at him and get back to work…you have a ways to go before you catch up to him. He had been doing this for two hours before I told him to wake you up."

"The snow is that bad?"

"I think he brushed the snow off you three or four times…the accumulation rate is incredible and that is exactly why it is so dangerous!"

"I'll take care of it."

"Huh?"

"He needs a break. Go tell him he won't listen to me."

"What? No…We need everyones help."

Shit. Robin below deck. The witch being a witch. That left one choice.

Luffy ran by pushing a shovel of snow and Zoro grinned at the good timing. He snatched an arm before it got out of range and Luffy snapped back.

"Oh Zoro! You're awake. Isn't the snow cool? There is so much of it!"

"Zoro what are you doing?" Nami asked but he ignored her.

"Oi Luffy…the damn cook just said he wouldn't make us any hot chocolate."

"Hot chocolate sounds good….isn't it time for dinner too?"

"Not for another couple of hours Luffy…"Nami muttered looking back to Zoro. "What are you doing?"

"SANJI Why won't you make us some hot chocolate?" Luffy bounded over to him.

"Eh…if you want some I can make it after we are done…"

"That will take FOREVER…who knows when the snow will stop! Let Zoro do some! I want hot chocolate! And Meat!" The captain tugged on his arm and Sanjis hands came out to defend himself against the onslaught. Luffy caught one and examined it. "Why are your hands blue? Chopper! Is blue hands normal?"

"Whaa!! Sanji! Why didn't you say anything?! You already have frostbite!! Any longer and you could have permanent damage!!"

Luffy and Chopper dragged the cook off deck for either treatment or hot chocolate but probably both. Zoro didn't care now that there were no distractions in clearing the snow and his mission a success.

Nami was still waiting for an explanation although the eyes didn't have the sharpness as a few minutes before.

"Those are his gloves right?"

She stuck her gloved hands in her pocket and walked away in a hurry. Another distraction gone. The sooner he got done…the sooner he could have some hot chocolate too.


	20. Dinosaur:A meaty arguement

"There was no winner." Zoro said sometime later on deck and Sanji nodded his agreement as he lit a new cigarette and leaned against the railing.

Usopp listened silently from where he sat a short distance away measuring gunpowder. If a fight broke out between these two it would be best to secure the volatile chemicals and scram asap.

"Yours was certainly a thicker, chubbier one." Sanji admitted despite the light teasing tone. "And not a bad size considering."

"Yeah. Yours wasn't bad either. Longer..leaner..not that that's any better." Zoro conceded in a snort.

"Of course not. They are the same size if we consider mass and volume…" The blond added with an air of scientific neutrality.

Usopp shook his head in disbelief. They had left Little Garden a week ago and with all that was happening and had happened with Vivi he couldn't believe they were still talking about their dinosaur hunting contest.

He supposed this was some kind of progress as they both seemed to be carefully complimenting each other or at least coming to an agreement.

"Mine had to have tasted better though…"

Without looking he could hear Sanjis head whip in anger to snarl at the man.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Bullshit. That is my line. Yours was salty as shit!! What exactly are you saying about mine?!"

"Maybe that I could taste your damn smoke all over it! You must fiddle with it too much or something."

Usopp capped his gunpowder and corked his chemicals as he stood up…this was getting a little troubling…even more since he must have missed an impromptu Dino tasting. There was no way something Sanji cooked could taste bad though.

They were doing so well too for a while there too. Oh well, not a job legendary Peacemaker Usopp couldn't handle.

"Guys, guys!! You were both right about size why can't you just admit the taste was okay too?"

The two men looked at Usopp with an embarrassed look and then returned to glare at each other before looking away in annoyance.

"Ehhh…fine fine! What if I am an impartial judge? I'm sure they are both delicious!"

Zoro shrugged and laid his swords down on the deck.

Sanjis eyebrow twitched in mix of anger and surprise before realization seemed to flood his face.

"Uh noo…I don't think that will be necessary we are just working out the aftermath of an akward situation…uh…"

Usopp no longer was listening as Zoro began to undo his pants and push them to the ground.

"Er…Sanji…You guys weren't talking about the dinosaur meat from Little Garden, huh?"

Sanji rubbed a hand over his face in disbelief.

"Well I suddenly remembered I have , okayBYE!" The sniper exclaimed as he ran off the deck.

Zoro looked down at his exposed manhood and then Sanji.

"Is it really that salty?"

The cook eyed it with interest before looking away in huff and taking a drag on his cigarette.

"Yeah…but I never said I didn't like salty things."

"Tobacco is kind of an interesting flavor, once you get used to it."

Sanji somehow was looking at it again and cursed himself for falling into whatever the hell this was with the idiot.

Zoro looked him. Asking.

Now that Usopp was off deck…the rest of the crew ashore for a few more hours…

"FUCK. Fine…but you owe me. Sit your ass down!"

Zoro sat obediently and kept the dopey grin off his lips until the blond was between his legs.


	21. Whale: In reference to?

The majority of the sex toy/porn industry was catalog based, however there were a few headquarters for these proprietors scattered throughout the blues and on the Grand Line if one happened to be on the lookout for them, each with the promise of a large and rare retail store inside.

At times like this Sanji didn't mind that perhaps he wasn't quite so recognizable from his wanted poster. The idiot store clerk was apparently a new hire and fucking paged over the intercom for the manager.

"Can you explain it again, sir?" The shitty clerk asked when the manager arrived. So much for the manager saving the blond from further humiliation.

"So…let's say there is a man with very large dick and his male lover is intimidated as fuck at accommodating it…what would you recommend?"

"Ohh…lucky guy. Well with the right lubrication and foreplay preparation…"

"No…that doesn't work. I'm not underestimating it here. It is abnormally big." Sanji was frowning…not liking to further explain this one bit. He especially didn't like the heat he felt creeping into his face despite having had practiced this conversation in his head for a long ass time.

"Oh... If he is that large then the only option is one of these…" The manager walked the strawhat cook to a wall with many varing sized cone and rounded triangular shaped objects of silicone and hard plastic. "This will loosen you up and you can gradually move up to bigger and bigger sizes."

"Won't there be…uh…side effects to being that stretched?"

The manager shrugged.

"Yeah, a few. It is par for the course."

"Shit. That's not going to work." Sanji bit on his cigarette. "Anything ese?"

"Nothing comes to mind unless you'd consider a paramecia or logia devil fruit…"

"Out of the question." DAMN.

"Don't get discouraged…if he is lucky enough to have such a nice endowment then he shouldn't mind so much if you top him."

A twitch of the curly eyebrow and the manager was slammed into the back wall of dirty magazines with a powerful kick.

"You think so? Funny thing is everyone thinks that and that means someone so 'lucky' hasn't been able to top anyone his entire life and has been the bottom since fucking puberty. Unless I want to fuck up my partner, I don't exactly have a choice, do I? Makes you question the term 'lucky' I think."

Sanji walked out the door with a hiss and immediately began fumbling for another cigarette.

"Buy anything for me?"

"No Shithead."

"Oh? How about for that great white whale of yours?"

"No and If you shut up right now, I'll buy you a drink."

Zoro was quiet for a moment before smirking.

"You know cook, we'll figure something out eventually. That moby dick of yours isn't something I don't intend to conquer one day."

"Oi! Ahab, Didn't I say to shut up?" Despite himself, Sanji bought the man a drink anyway.


	22. Chess: A favorite and expendable piece

"You're quite good at this game, Cook-san." Robin smiled over the chess board.

"Oh is that right? I'm glad I could give such a beautiful and intelligent woman a challenge." Sanji crooned back as he studied the archeologists newest move. "It was one of the few games I liked to do on the floating restaurant."

"You have a unique fighting style."

"I've changed my way of thinking since I joined Luffy. I was too…uh…brutal before." Sanji s fingers lingered above the bishop before he sighed and pushed out the Rook into the danger zone Robin had created instead.

"You favor Swordsman-san a lot, don't you." She smirked behind a sip of tea, evaluating.

"The shitty Rook can handle himself just fine." He lifted his eyes to the woman across the table with a masked smile that admitted or denied nothing. "Don't you think so?"

He was a tough challenger indeed.

"Are you saying you think the Rook is a stronger piece than your bishop?" She asked innocently…pretending quite nicely she hadn't seen him flinch.

"Haaa…Robin-chan, the Rook and Bishop are similar in power despite their different methods of doing things but in the end game…the Rook and the King hold higher advantage and can capture an enemy King no problem. The Bishop is just wise enough to see that see his role is protector and sacrificial player if needed. "

"I'm sure the King and the Rook wouldn't want any sacrificial players." Robin added as she collected the Pawn taken by her Knight.

"That's true. "

"The Rook might even knock out the Bishop to keep him from making such a sacrifice."

Sanjis eyes narrowed at the shrewd player across the table and smile settle more into a frown.

"It sounds like something the idiot Rook might do. Pretty unforgivable. He needs to be alive for the end game." He moved the Rook to take Robins Knight without mercy.

"You said yourself he was strong though. It doesn't matter as long as he survives to the end game with you, right?"

Sanji frowned deeper…it was far too obvious they were no longer talking about Chess now.

"Doesn't have to be with me. Just surviving is enough."

"Not to him."

The cook had no response to that and took a drag on his cigarette.

"But you know Cook-san, if you were more willing to use your Pawns and especially your Queen more effectively there is no reason they all can't all reach the end game together."

Sanji smiled then. They both knew that would take some work to adjust his point of view but it was possible that with time he would trust himself to let those pieces take more risk.

"I certainly hope so, Robin-chan."


	23. Bite: Taking a bite

Zoro followed the scream, knowing the cook had to be in pretty dire trouble to scream at all let alone like the one he had just heard. He burst into the room at the end of the hall swords drawn and ready.

He hadn't been prepared for Sanji to be strapped to a table, naked, with the Captain straddling him…mouth attached to the blonds long neck. The cooks eyes were screwed shut and he as moaning.

Well they had come to rescue the cook. Looked like Luffy found him first and decided to claim dibs on him right here and now. Zoro didn't even realize the captain had those kinds of thoughts or he would have offered to share the cook a long time ago.

"Excuse me." He sheathed his swords and began to walk out of the room…embarrassed and a little jealous.

"WAIT!!!"

He looked over his shoulder almost hopefully.

"GET HIM THE FUCK OFF ME!!! It's not what it looks like asshole!! NNNNRGGGG….! " Sanji panted and strained again to look toward Zoro. "The bastard thought it would be funny if the cook was _eaten_ by his own crew. The shitty captain is drugged or something and is_trying to __**eat**__ me! _"

Ohhhhhhh.

Zoro came closer and sure enough the captains eyes were glazed over and he was gnawing and ripping at the cooks neck and chest leaving patches of torn skin, blood, and massive bruises accompanying bite marks.

He pulled off the drooling and writhing Luffy and realizing he'd have to knock him out temporarily, did so. He pulled a sword to cut through the cooks straps and noticed the large place setting on the table siting right in front of the mans groin. Easy to imagine what part they had wanted Luffy to eat first. Right there Luffy had been standing on a plate, napkin, fork, spoon, and several large sharp knives made for carving into flesh.

"You're lucky those damn table manners you gave him never stuck."

"Believe me I know. Now please hurry the hell up."

Zoro leaned back and smirked.

"Maybe I want to take in the view a bit."

"Maybe whatever he did to Luffy will happen to you and you'll be using those cleavers of yours to hack off a piece of me before I can even run."

The swordsman turned serious and quickly sliced through the thick straps.

"Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment." The cook added quietly a minute later as he stretched out his shoulders and looked around for some clothing.

"Oi, Oi….Zoro…"

Sanji and Zoro looked to their captain in surprise at being awake so soon. Zoro shrugged it off. The captain was rubber after all.

"I know you're happy to see Sanji but we should get back to the ship first."

Okay. It did look like Sanji was naked and mussed with a neck almost entirely deep purple with apparent hickies. Maybe those bleeding spots looked less like bites and more like passionate scratches

"You did this to me asshole!!!" The cook seethed, barely containing his rage.

"Oh." Luffy cocked his head and looked to Zoro. "Sorry Zoro. I took without asking…."

Zoro nodded back to him.

"Nah it's okay."

"Why the hell are you apologizing to_ him_?! !! And _you_!!! What do you mean, 'it's okay'!?!" Flames were starting to be ignited and Zoro took a step back.

"Why is Sanji so mad? We just saved him."

"Uh…well you were trying to eat him."

"Hmmm well he does look delicious."

"Tell me about it."

Usopp ran into the room to find Sanji adjusting his tie and Zoro and Luffy beaten on the floor, smoke still wafting off them.

A narrow eye flashed to the man at the door.

"Usopp…have you ever thought about devouring me?"

"Uh…Nami sent me down to see if you guys were here…now that I know you are I really got to go tell her."

"Nami-swan came too!? " He snapped back to a better mood instantly. He grabbed an ankle of each of the scorched idiots and dragged them down the hall behind him. "Let's not keep her waiting then."


	24. Duel: One Month

One month after receiving the letter Zoro had finally arrived on the autumn island of Dustineggy.

He shouldn't have left the crew to look for him, he thought to himself while cutting through the thick jungle vines.

How was he to know the others would find Mihawk first though? All the rumors had him reigning down destruction in West Blue. Oh well, the important thing was that the letter said they had found him and they would wait for two months with him on the island.

Why Mihawk would let himself be delayed for two months he didn't know, didn't care. This duel had been a long time in coming.

A vicious smile as he spotted the man in a clearing up ahead, swinging that massive sword in the same wide arc, over and over in practice.

Zoro was damned if he was going to waste another second and released his killing intent to make the man aware of his first on coming attack.

Mihawk seemed to ignore him and it pissed him off to be so grossly underestimated after all this time. He increased his speed and sure enough his blade was flying true to slice clear through the mans neck before a flaming foot was crackling in his ear and he suddenly went pitching away from his prey, entirely blindsided.

He had never thought his duel would be interfered with, let alone from him. Zoro let his betrayal flash in his eyes to the blond standing protectively in front of the worlds swordsman. After he judged Zoro wasn't going to attack again he let the leg cool back to the black of his dress pants.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Zoro could help but growl.

Sanji lit a cigarette. He looked pretty much the same since the last time he had seen him a year ago except for one thread of white scar tissue peaking out from under the yellow fringe of his left eye that seemed to match a wider scar across the top of his left hand. Zoro felt a surge of anger and concern at who would do something to his lover in his absence but was brought back to the moment at hand as Sanji addressed him.

"That's my line! Wipe that shitty look off your face. Is that how you start a duel these days? Attack without warning?"

"Actually he gave more than enough warning." Nami sighed from the log bench where she had been watching before taking a sip of tea. "I've felt his desire to fight since he landed. Then before he attacked he gave another blatant warning."

"WHAT?!" Sanji shouted as he stalked toward Nami. "Why didn't you tell us that, shithead?"

Did Sanji just call Nami…shithead? Zoro must have misheard that, his ear might still be buzzing from the bastards kick.

Nami shrugged and took another sip before looking up coyly with half lidded eyes.

"Thank you for protecting my body, Sanji-kun."

Sanji sputtered and blushed furiously.

"Anything you desire, my love! Mellorine!"

Mihawk sighed in a deep frown.

"I told you to stop doing that…"

Nami smiled a rather cunning smile right back at him.

"So you did."

Zoro looked between the three.

"Okay, What the hell is going on here?"

Fifteen minutes later Zoro was hitting the sake pretty hard. Body swap or rather some sort of memory transference, huh? Apparently Sanji was left to guard Nami (which he had taken to mean both of them…her body and memories) while the rest of the remaining Strawhats had gone after the Sacred Idol that had started the mess before it had been accidently sold to a Marine ship passing by. Apparently the effects could be reversed with in two months if they both touched the idol again at the same moment.

"So if you two switched bodies, why was Nami swinging your sword?"

"I can't have my body get lazy, can I? Plus I have grown aware of the cook slipping her some fancy desserts when I haven't been looking." The person Zoro was to understand was Mihawk spoke from his former Navigators mouth, legs crossed in her tangerine skirt like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"YOU eat them too!" Nami shrieked in her new low baritone back at her former body.

"Oi don't yell at…uh…" Sanji began before becoming confused.

Mihawk grabbed his new Nami breasts and squeezed them.

"No choice, my dear, you need to eat more if you want these to get bigger."

"What? You…don't do that to Namis…Mellorine!" The cook was on the ground now with a nosebleed as Namis cleavage was pushed even further out of her shirt by her seemingly own groping.

"Stop it! Gah! So immature!" Nami stamped her foot in frustration and stomped away in Mihawks body.

Zoro chuckled despite himself. As much as it bugged him a bit that his ero cook was left on this desolate island with the one woman that could get him to do anything and the swordsman he vowed to defeat he couldn't help but admit it was funny as hell.

Wait. Nami wouldn't give Sanji the time of day but the cook considered both of them to be the navigator at the moment. He leveled a serious look at the woman holding Mihawks memories hostage.

"Just how much have you been exploiting the shit cooks weak point in that body?"

Mihawks new feminine eyes seemed to laugh at him as Namis most evil grin tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"I know all about Sanji-kuns weak points, I've been having some great fun over this last month but alas…a lady doesn't kiss and tell."

Sanjis face was burning, he noticed. Zoro clenched his fists tightly.

Luffy had better hurry up because he wasn't going to just defeat Mihawk, he was going to fucking kill him…and if that happened to be in Namis body, that just made it all that much better.


	25. Sakura: Sakuras leaving

The cook must really hate it here.

An Okama island.

How the okama queen got the crews location from the guy that sent them flying, he didn't know, but the cook landing here after some of the disturbing okama stories the he had shared after a few too many kind of worried him.

The island was rather small and bathed in feminine colors. No port or boats to speak of. Just shops and houses. No evidence of fighting or kick induced rubble. Everything perfectly intact. Did the shit cook die? Zoro had been helped by the ghost girl…what if no one found him? Or if the wrong person did?

Luffy went one direction to search. Zoro another.

He approached the first okama he saw that seemed to be talking with several other "ladies" outside a shopping stall.

"Excuse me? I am looking for a cook."

"You like cooking?" She asked with sudden interest.

"Hell no." That was kinda why he was looking for his cook after all…well a small part of it. The okama appraised him like maybe he was lying.

"Oh? What about dresses? Flowers? Sweets?"

"Hate them. Listen…have you seen a man about my height with blond hair, stupid curly eyebrow?" He asked more seriously.

"Oh dear!! Yes I have! He came to this island a few weeks ago right? Oh, I'm afraid you'll have to see Sakura-chan if you are looking for him. He left a long time ago!"

"This Sakura-chan could tell me where he went then?"

"Yes! She works over at the Lovely Bonnet hotel. Over there." A point to a large pink and purple structure about a block away and Zoro was off yelling his thanks over his shoulder.

For being a block away Zoro was quite frustrated to arrive there almost two hours later.

He walked through the horribly decorated lounge of the hotel and told the blue haired okama at the desk he wanted to see Sakura.

She placed a large bottle of thick viscous pink and grey swirled liquid on the counter. The label was gold embossed and looked very classy. It read simply "Pink Haze" on the front. The back had a design of a rose and a small sentence. "Putting the D in Desire for those who need to see what they wish."

"Sakura-chan only sees visitors that have over 50,000 beli cash and bring a bottle of this with them."

Zoro started to reach the bottle, knowing he didn't have that much beli on him but figuring he would play the situation by ear. The "woman" looked like she knew that too.

"It doesn't cost that much but she wants the chance to talk you into leaving the rest with her I think. You'd be surprised how many do. But the wine you purchase up front."

He grumbled as he pulled out the fee she indicated and took the key offered and bottle in return. Sakura was apparently a very strange and expensive person to visit.

"Have you seen a blond man come here to visit her?"

"She has seen anyone with 50,000 and a bottle of that. She keeps upping her price when people find out she is worth it and there are still so many…so I don't remember any particular person. Sorry sweetie."

Oh great the cook had visited a whore. He had probably just given his only money up to chase a dead end lead.

He found the door matching the key and unlocked it without bothering to knock. Why else had they given him the key?

"Hello? " He called in uncertainly as he entered. No response.

Immediately in front of the door was a huge garish pink room with a garishly pink bed.

On that garish pink bed was an okama with long wavy blond hair and a white dress, asleep, a real blush under all that make up from the bottle in her fingers (twin to the one the swordsman was carrying) and looking like a fake fairy tale princess if one leg hadn't fallen off the bed and spread the legs apart in a very unladylike fashion and revealing familiar hairy legs. Not that the curly brow hadn't tipped him off instantly.

Sanji was Sakura-chan.

Zoro glared at the spectacle alseep in front of him. Sanji would never let himself get this way if he had been here.

"Oi! What happened to you?"

Sanji woke up with a start and brushed a hand through his long hair before taking another drink from the bottle in his hands and looking at Zoro. He smiled.

"Nothing…just catching up on my beauty rest. You understand." A wink. "Not that you need it."

Zoros mouth dropped to the floor. What the fuck was this!?!!?!? Did the shit cook lose his freaking mind? He clenched his fist really more in anger than concern. What had this island made him do?

"Sakura-chan" moaned lightly as she stretched and pulled herself out of the bed in what Zoro was sure a very rehearsed provocative movement. The light sway clued the swordsman in that the chef was still a little under the influence.

Suddenly that face he had last seen in battle, pissed and frustrated that the battle wasn't going their way was in his face with a flirtatious smile as those long fingers plunged in his pockets, stroking the shadow of his groin as they searched for the nonexistent money. She pouted even as Zoro panicked and pushed his crewmate away.

"Shit! What is wrong with you?!"

She seemed to change then… still slightly drunk but with a more sober familiarity she was pulling a cigarette from a box of smokes on a nearby dresser and sitting in the over the top embroidered chair, sliding one leg over the other and letting the elegant high heel in the air nod toward his green haired guest. She lit the cigarette exactly like Sanji before battle and Zoro found himself confused.

"No…what is wrong with you Shitty-okama? Finally this shit works as advertised…" He tossed the bottle back onto the bed in disgust. "Someone comes in that looks like him…something that would have made you the luckiest damn okama on this damn island and yet you come into my room with NO money?" Sanji laughed coldly like he was on the verge of tears. "The fucked up thing is I am tempted to let you have what you want anyway…since I have no idea if he is even fucking alive. Then again I can't find out for myself until I earn enough money to build a freaking boat! Money I won't be getting from you…apparently."

So that was it. It was relief and pain and annoyance all at once. He wanted to go over there and rip the long hair off him, take him in his arms, kiss him, and then head butt the idiot. The shit cook actually believed that wine would make him see what wasn't there. He was seeing Zoro but thinking it was just an illusion with okama underneath? Well it was the Grandline he supposed…and for someone looking for an escape he might be more prone to believe crap like this.

"Idiot. He wouldn't like it that you were selling yourself to other men."

"He'd understand I'm doing what I need to do to get back to the crew." The blond took a drag on the cigarette before continuing. "Not that he's ever going to know. I was forced into this damn dress and this damn name by waking up in the wrong damn place under the Sakura. When I leave…I am leaving all this shit behind. The wine has killed most of the memory already…"

This had already gone on long enough, in Zoros opinion. He was going to bring Sanji back. Not whatever the island had twisted him into. Sanji.

"You know there was someone else in the lobby waiting for you…a dumb looking green haired swordsman…something about you knowing where his cook might be. He might have money…should I go send him up?" Zoro questioned with a smirk he prayed wouldn't give him away.

The look on the cook face made this little ruse to save the idiots pride 100% worth it.

Sanji stood up at once and stood there gaping at him…panic and hope crashing behind his eyes.

"WHAT!? Yes…! Yes! Send him up!!"

Zoro nearly snickered as he was practically pushed out the door and into the hallway to go fetch himself.

He stood there against the opposite wall with the smile on his face as he heard the cook swear, rush about, drawers being torn open, a shower going on and then off a few seconds later, followed by more rushed panic.

Deciding it had been enough time and stood back in front of the door.

"This one? Okay, thanks!" He called outside the door to the nonexistent okama who hadn't shown him the way. A knock on the door. "Oi!!? I was told you might know where our perverted chef might be…"

Sanji opened the door, not Sakura.

"Marimo?" He breathed in…like he still wasn't sure.

The long hair, dress, make up, everything okama about him gone…instead it was just the chef fresh from the shower in the same outfit he'd last seen him in. Zoro breathed a sigh of relief to see him standing there, smoking a cigarette with that detached coolness like he hadn't just been tipsy, in drag and trying to get into his pants for money ten minutes before.

This was the nakama he was looking for.

"Did you get lost, shit-cook?"

"I'm not you!!!" He responded indignantly but he was already being pulled into Zoros hug. The blond was stunned for a minute before returning the embrace tightly.

"Aren't you embarrassed, hugging a guy like this?"

I don't want to hear that from you after what you have been doing.

"Not unless there is an okama in there you'd rather see me hug? Your Sakura-chan perhaps?"

"Sorry, Marimo… you just missed her…but I don't mind taking her place this one time."


	26. Log Pose: Ready the Arrow

He looked out on All Blue and sighed. He dipped his feet into the warm water and sat on the sandy beach.

It was a perfect paradise and Sanji berated himself for being a little lonely.

The things he was doing from a culinary standpoint were innovative and historic and just plain incredible. Having no one there to try the dishes and agree with him pulled the joy of cooking the masterpiece down considerably.

Sanji took out his fishing rod, baited it, and cast it into the ocean. It wouldn't take long now until a fish would decide to be his dinner for that night. He reached into his basket and pulled out a hunk of bread and his notebook before digging further for a pencil.

A few bites of bread and like clockwork he jotted down the meal he had for breakfast with notes. Then Lunch. He left the place for dinner blank, looking up at the fishing pole before continuing. A few observances on the weather and tides. As he flipped the page to date tomorrows entry he noticed the small red thumb print in the bottom right corner. He nearly choked.

His fishing line pulled and he had to laugh at the good timing, wanting nothing more than to get back to the modest cottage he had started building for himself here exactly a year ago. A quick tug on the line and he grabbed up the nights catch, a North Blue Spiny Marlin, along with the pole and his basket and RAN home.

Sanji tossed the armload fish and all onto the table and hurried to the desk in his bedroom.

He confirmed on the calendar quickly before opening the first of four wooden boxes, nearly trembling with excitement.

The blank log pose arrow was pointed down now. Firm. Absolute. Actually that was exactly what made it an eternal pose now, or so the shopkeeper had told him. No spinning around and around waiting to calibrate like it had for the previous 364 days. Finally. He checked the other three to confirm they were the same.

The mail bird would be by tomorrow with a delivery of flour, he could send them that soon. They would finally know. He could see them again.

One for himself in case he needed to leave. That left three Eternal poses to engrave and letters to write. Later after the fish was cleaned, cooked, and eaten…the cook got to work.

Zeff looked up from his bed to see the mail bird perched in the window.

"Shitty pervert bird! Don't watch people sleep!" The peg leg nailed the bird knocking it unconscious and sending it uncontrollably airborn but not before it dropped the small box on his sill. Zeff grumbled about the rude awakening further as he opened the box.

_"Shit geezer…Have you forgotten how to cook without me yet? Why not come and refresh your memory on how it's supposed to be done? Follow this to my new place of residence. I think you'll like it. – Sanji" _

Zeff picked up the eternal pose already smiling broadly when he read the lettering…All Blue.

"So if we rendezvous with Shanks here we might get the Marine intelligence to think we are there…behind the outcropping instead on the opposite end of the cove. Then we can move without them getting in the way…" Nami moved the small model version of the Sunny across her large map on the table.

Luffy looked at the map and cocked his head to the side, obviously torn between asking why they didn't just fight the marines and be done with it and wanting to meet up with Shanks. A feminine arm appeared in the middle of the map just in time to catch a box tossed in through the open deck window.

Nami watched as Luffy pulled the box open and read it over the captains shoulder.

_"I've been reading the papers so I can guess how it is…this might get intercepted so I will keep it short and sweet. I've found it! When it blows over or if you need my help come and visit and I'll make a feast to celebrate our reunion. Take care of them shitty captain…and yourself too. –the cook " _

Luffy and Nami cheered and yelled for the crew to come in and hear the news. Nami held the eternal pose aloft like a trophy, etched cryptically along the side it read "A place with really good fishing" and nothing else.

Zoro yawned and tried to pay attention but the marine admiral was droning on and on.

The pirate king is making a move…we suspect up in the third quadrant of blah blah blah…it didn't take Zoro long to figure out that the marines didn't know shit. Luffy wasn't really into making coordinated attacks on ports contrary to the Marines apparent impression. Whatever. He wouldn't have even come to the Shichibukai meeting this time if he knew the intelligence was this bad. Didn't sound like the marines had a grand plan just yet either on how to utilize Mihawks replacement as the best swordsman in the world either.

Zoro was bored. Bored and kind of itching for a fight…not with one of the many upstarts with something to prove. One that rippled with shared understanding and passion.

The mail bird squawked at the window interrupting the meeting.

The Admiral yanked the package in annoyance out of the birds claw.

"There is no one named 'marimo' here…"

Zoro grinned almost ferally in half growl as he yanked the box from the admirals hand and opened it.

_"Marimo- If you're done fucking people up and proving what a bad ass you are how about letting the losers come find you for a change? It's pretty damn boring without your ass to kick and damn mouth to feed. The view isn't bad either. – S" _

He held up the log pose and watched as the arrow pointed out the window toward the ocean. He folded the note and climbed up on the window sill.

"Let me know when something interesting happens. "

"Where are you going?" The admiral frowned at him. Zoro flashed the eternal pose at him with a grin despite himself.

"Where the arrow leads me."

The marine leader squinted…the words 'love cook' were written clearly with a large x striking it out. Next to that, simply in large corrective letters it read 'Home'. He was going to inquire further but the man had already jumped out of the meeting.

----

notes: I am assuming the mail bird is expensive as hell to go all over the grandline and that's why Sanji hadn't informed them he found it yet.


	27. the rest of the thirty?

Themes missing from this set were rather long and found on my profile:

Candle- Watching_their_Light

Witch- Witch_Way_The_Witch_Woos

Reverse - Reversal_a_matter_of_time

Weight- The_Weight_of_Ones_Life

Color- The_Nature_of_Black

If you are interested in joining the next set or picking up a previous set feel free to check it out over on Livejournal. 30_onepiece is the name of the community.


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